There is a reason why I write on this blog and this morning after receiving this email from one of my subscribers, I realized that it’s actually making a good impact on some people. This is an amazing story of how meditation and intuition helped a woman grieving the recent loss of her husband who gave her the ultimate gift in this situation: acknowledgement. Below is the email she sent to me this morning in which I have received her permission to post this to the website.
My husband and I were together for thirty four years. Our relationship was magical; it wasn’t without the usual argument here and there but our connection and love for each other was undeniable. He meant the world to me as I did to him and each day that passed, we were as excited as ever to continue being together for the rest of our lives. Unfortunately for both of us, the magic didn’t happen for much longer before our 35th anniversary. After a mild stroke at the beginning of this Spring, we found that he had lung cancer which was stage four. For both of us it was heart-breaking, gut wrenching and of course we were scared. We did everything the doctors had told us to do though since he was older, we rejected the treatments as it would only put him in more pain with no guarantee of life expectancy. He wanted it to be him and I at home to live out which would be his final weeks.
I couldn’t leave his side – there was nothing I could do because I knew I was losing my life partner but most importantly, my best friend. My one and only child lived in Australia who of course came down to stay with us for the last two weeks of his life. For the next couple of weeks we sat and talked, reminisced and laughed about the past and talked about the future. We would meditate each day together to help bring us some peace and calm to everyone, especially my husband. We weren’t much into meditation as we lived in a quite country side where only a handful of cars would drive by on any given day so it was like every day was a meditation experience for us but we tried to do specific meditations that would last anywhere from ten to twenty minutes each day.
Over those two weeks of meditation, I found myself calmer and more accepting of the situation that was happening. Prior to this, I would find myself crying in the bathroom, asking myself why this was happening to us. My husband was a good man, kind-hearted and always put others first so why was he the one that had to end his life. This is something that would go through my head many times throughout the weeks. The meditations seemed to help me with my fears, thoughts and sadness. I can’t explain what exactly switched but I felt like there was a shift of kinds that unexplainably happened and my perspective of things were changing. With my husband, the thought of death scared him and it seemed like from the moment we found out about this cancer until before we started mediating, everything else started to scare him; he would question everything and was deeply saddened. Just before what I call my shift, I noticed a shift in my husband but didn’t label it a switched until I realized mine. He didn’t seem to fear death, he started to get comfortable with everything that was happening and he was now trying to calm me down; the most miraculous part was the pain level he was having went from what he says a ten to a six which for him was a tremendous amount on relief.
Three weeks before what would have been our 35th wedding anniversary, my husband passed away peacefully in his sleep. The grieving wasn’t easy even though I knew he was in a better place and no longer feeling pain but when you go with having someone so close to you for over thirty five years to never being able to see them again, of course it’s going to be rough for a while, and it was. After three days passed from his departure, I decided to start meditating again; the pain didn’t go away but it I found myself being at peace with his death more and more though I knew our 35th anniversary was coming up and that would be a hard pill to swallow as well. I was trying to do some research on ways that I could get more connected to his energy and I found your website. I was intrigued by the fact that your website was about the amazing experiences you have had from meditation so I read all of your previous posts. These experiences sounded amazing; there was not one that didn’t make me well up in the eyes because that is exactly what I wanted from my husband – I wanted contact. So I continued meditating for twenty minutes each day with a focus on trying to connect with his energy and decided to make a request and I was simply amazed by what I got back. After my meditation I spoke out to my husband with tears flowing down my face and I asked him, “Greg, I read something that if I asked for a sign, you could give me one. Well, if you’re here and you’re listening to me please give me a sign that you will be here with me on our 35th wedding anniversary.” I lay on the bed and cried a bit more then I fell asleep.
A small side note is that one of the things that he and I did was work in our garden; you can say it was somewhat our meditation ritual but we call an active meditation. Our house was filled with flowers were grew from our country-side home and the smell, ooooh the smell was pure bliss.
I woke up in the morning, it was warm and sunny and the baby birds were chirping like crazy. I looked around my room and took a few deep breathes preparing for a pretty unpleasant day. Walked to the kitchen to make a coffee and while I wait, I opened up my front door to let the fresh air in. I looked around, looked at the sky then the grass and decided to sit on the balcony to enjoy the coffee. Grabbed my coffee, sat down and just kept staring out at my lawn when I suddenly felt compelled to get up and start walking towards the left side of my house towards the front. I don’t know why I did this as my thoughts weren’t focused on anything specific, I just got up and walked over. When I realized this was happening, I tried to stop and ask myself why I was there. I figured I while I was up I should take a look at the flowers to see if anything started to blossom and as I continued my walk, I felt like I had to walk backwards a bit. This whole feeling was strange as it was somewhat of an out-of-body experience yet I was aware of what I was doing; it’s very hard to explain. Alas, I end up at my Dahlia’s but wasn’t paying attention to the fact that they had blossomed! Two days prior, they were only starting to bud. I was getting so excited and started to think about where I would place them in my home then feeling sad that Greg wouldn’t be there with me to help. I stopped thinking for a moment and something in my head told me to count them. It wasn’t me speaking to myself and I have never in the years that I have been gardening, counted my flowers.
I discounted my thought but within seconds, I heard that words again. At this point, though I couldn’t figure out what was going on, I slowly started to count the flowers. Though no one could see me yet I felt like I was crazy!
“…..nineteen, twenty, twenty one…..what am I doing? “ I mumbled to myself. Yet I couldn’t pull myself away from counting these. “thirty two, thirty three, thirty four…….thirty five” I stopped. There were no more flowers to count and kept thinking to myself I was nuts for counting them in the first place then all of a sudden something inside of me clicked and somehow I knew that this was the sign from my husband. “It’s my sign!” I screamed! I was in complete shock and I kept trying to talk myself out of it but the feeling of just knowing that this was the sign he was trying to give me, the one I asked for that night before would overpower any of those egotistical thoughts trying to race through my mind. Could you believe how amazing this was? Gardening was our favorite thing to do together, these flowers just started their bloom at this time and all the feelings and things that I heard lead me to these thirty five flowers for our 35th anniversary.
Miss Christine, I can’t begin to explain to you the thoughts and feelings that were going through my mind and body that entire day, not to mention for the first five – ten minutes of this realization. I saw your post yesterday in which you spoke about something in which when you saw the orbs on a door that it was some sort of simple knowing of what it was and that when you ask for signs, there are times you just simply have that knowing that it is the sign you asked for and not just something that you are making up in your mind, which sparked this email to you and I remember I am one thousand percent positive that this was the same feeling that you had felt in the past. It is hard to explain to people that may never have experienced this before but it really is such a mesmerizing experience once you realize what it actually was. I am so grateful to you for sharing these stories. This world doesn’t always do so kindly to those that express their love, interest and work in energy and the Universe but I can tell you that I don’t think I would have been able to realize exactly what this was, I wouldn’t have asked for the sign, I wouldn’t have heard that voice inside me and if I did, I definitely wouldn’t have listened to it.
This was not long ago that this happened and I am happy to say I am continuing with my meditations and the number thirty five continues to show up when I’m sure he feels like I need a reminder that he is here with me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart! Please don’t stop sharing your stories and hopefully others can share their stories though an outlet such as yours to help and inspire others.
A new friend,
If you have a story you would like to share on how meditation, intuition or experiences with energy have impacted your life (or maybe even a day), please contact me here.