The death that sparked a change.

Growing up, I had no idea what I wanted to be and I definitely didn’t think that at the age of 33 I would still be asking myself the same question. For the longest time, I can remember wanting to be a model and although living in a small city with my mother would probably get me nowhere in the modelling industry, neither did moving to Toronto years later. I always knew I was an entrepreneur at heart but really had no idea what my talents were and to be honest, I still don’t know. I knew I had creativity and a passion for helping people but how could I use that to make money and without knowing what I was good at, I was good for nothing. I started with photography, I had a good eye for taking pictures and that eventually ended up with my having a photography business. On the side I used my creative abilities and desire to help others by launching a program that lasted only a few months. I didn’t have the belief in myself that I would be able to do the things I wanted for others with just myself and my money, which I had little to no extra money after paying rent, bills and buying groceries for the children. I had a desire to help on a larger scale but I was limiting myself big time, so I eventually gave up.

Eventually when I had kids, I couldn’t put in the time to do the sessions and edit them plus have a full time job and have my kids so I gave that up and my $4,500.00 camera sat there collecting dust. The last car I had purchased ended up needing a new clutch so I had to sell my camera just to get the clutch fixed. Photography business, over.

I took classes for energetic massage healing, event planning and wedding planning but those businesses faded because I wasn’t really happy doing that. There was something else I was longing to do but I couldn’t pull it out of me, so I kept working at my office job hoping that one day I would have an aha moment. I wanted to change my life, I wanted to be happier and I knew there was something out there for me that was calling my name but for the life of me, I couldn’t figure it out.

2 years ago on January 1st, 2014 my husband had found his father passed away while in his sleep. This was obviously an extremely unfortunate event that turned everyone’s lives upside down, including mine.  A few days after he passed away, I was videotaping my daughter goofing around. “Kinsley, look at the camera.” I told her. As she turned to look at me, something flew by the camera. I stopped the recording and replayed it, then replayed it again and again trying to figure out what it was. The ego or logical part of my mind was telling me I was making it out to be something it wasn’t and it was probably  a piece of dust that flew by but something inside me was telling me it was more than just that. I would spend minutes reviewing that footage frame by frame. I was trying to find a way to either prove it was dust or prove it was a ghost. That nagging feeling in my gut just wouldn’t let me go with the whole dust idea. My husband must have thought I was crazy when I told him I thought it was his dad’s spirit flying by to say hello!  To this day I still cannot confirm nor deny that it was an entity of some kind flying by to say hello but the events over the past two years make me believe that it indeed was a spirit.

A couple of days later I was sitting on my couch at home watching television and with one inhale of breathe, the smell of his parents’ house blew through my nose. At this moment, Kinsley nor Shaun were around me and I hadn’t been at the house for a couple of days. The smell came and left all in one inhale and never returned. It was so distinct; there was absolutely no mistaking that it was definitely the smell of the house. Until delving into the spirit world, I had never heard about spirit trying to communicate to humans by sense but somehow I knew it had to have been Peter letting me know he was there; what else could it have been? At that moment the pieces fit together. He had gotten my attention with the orb flying by my camera so he decided to try it one more time just to make sure I knew it was him but this time by getting through to my nasal cavity. Nice.

Later that week, I decided to contact a medium; I had never spoken to one before but from watching episodes of Long Island Medium, I really wanted to connect with someone who could help me. Prior to Peter’s death, I had try to get onto the show Long Island Medium Show because I desperately wanted to communicate with my father but I couldn’t get a spot with a two plus year waiting list. Crazy! Eventually with a bit of research I was able to find a local medium that had fantastic reviews so I called and booked my appointment that day. This reading ended up being much more than I had originally hoped it would be. The day my appointment arrived, it was snowing really bad and at this time I was driving a Mustang which was in no way ready for the amount of snow we were receiving. It didn’t help I had no snow tires. So instead of travelling to her, I called her in advance to let her know we’d have to do it via phone. When I called her we got straight to the reading. This woman knew nothing about me, not what I looked like, what I was driving, what I was wearing not a thing. The only thing she knew was my phone number and at that time I had just changed number so there was no Googling me to get any background info. Through this reading she gave me such specific and accurate information that I couldn’t not believe her. She talked about my dad and of course, Peter. She talked about how my daughter had hair that looked like if you had put your finger in a light socket, that’s what it looked like. Bang on! I was baffled by what she said but not as baffled as I was when I found myself in Chapters in the New Age section. You see, just before our call ended, she told me I would start to have an interest in spirituality in the coming weeks. When she first mentioned this to me, all I could think of was, “Lady, you’re crazy, I don’t read! I hate reading!”

Two weeks after our conversation I found myself in Chapters in the New Age section with two books on how to obtain psychic abilities. Why psychic abilities? Did I really think I could learn how to tell people their future? Why did I all of a sudden have an interest in this and why am I in this section? As I looked at the two books I had in my hand, something reminded me about my conversation with that psychic. It clicked but couldn’t help ask myself how did psychic abilities have anything to do with spirituality. I figured if she had told me this and I was here, I’d try it out but boy, people were going to think I was crazy! I practiced for weeks, but nothing. I started to read books and articles on websites about how to be a psychic. As I went on the next few weeks trying this, I found myself getting more involved in spirituality books and the area of Spirit and to this day, it hasn’t stopped. Well, I’ve taken a couple of months off here and there but no matter how long I took off, it always came back to me. I continually learn more and more and although I haven’t reached where I want to be just yet, I have complete faith that I will end up wherever I am meant to be.



One thought on “The death that sparked a change.

  1. Pingback: How I found my true Happiness through Meditation | Simple Little Sparks

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